Christmas Elf Conscription Song (Lyrics)

by Marc Gunn, December 16, 2008

There's an Irish folk song that had a great story about how a man was conscripted in the British Navy by placing a coin underneath a mug of beer. After drinking the beer, he'd find the coin and realize that he was paid for service and was impressed into the Navy. I loved that concept so much I thought, what if Santa Claus did the same thing with faery creatures around the world. So I wrote for Lucky the Leprechaun who was liquored up and dragged off to the North Poll to serve one year in Santa's workshop. The idea came from my friend Stephen Conroy.

Ho ho! Merry Christmas with a rat-ta-ta-tum,
The presents we make will bring joy to children.
Santa's smiling and stroking his beard with his thumb
Come celebrate Christmas with me, with me!
Come celebrate Christmas with me!

Twas a fortnight following St. Patrick's Day
When across the thin veil the Leprechauns came
To Shebeg and Sheemore to dance with the fae
To join the fine craic until morning.

Ol' Lucky was sitting and drinking stout brew
When in walked two elves with green hats and red shoes
He smiled and said, “Why! How do you do?
Pull a seat up and drink here with me.”

The larger elf said, “Let me buy you a beer.
T'was a great Paddy's Day from all that I hear!”
The other elf added, “I've a secret to share.Gm
Just listen and the next round's on me.”

Lucky drank his first pint while singing a song.
The second pint came as he was feeling quite strong.
But the shot of hot whiskey, made him feel all wrong.
That's when the elves began to speak.

“Kris Kringle sent us to recruit by ourselves.
But the Keeblers are busy. S.P.E.W.'s freeing house elves.
I guess what we're staying is we've chosen quite well.
Your going to the North Pole with me.”

They dragged him outside. Tied him to a reindeer
To the North Pole they flew to serve a full year.
You Leprechauns take note of Santa's elves and beware
Don't share in the craic of the fae.


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