by Marc Gunn, early 90s

I wrote this song in college. It wasn't supposed to be any grand masterpiece, just a stupid, catchy song. For some strange reason, I added it to my CD, What Color Is Your Dragon?.

If I were a horse and you were a mule,
My heart would break all the same.
I'd cry on your tail. All the while would I wail
And refuse to eat my grain.

Oh, listen to this sad story.
Take head to the message I don't purvey.
Cuz it'll make you feel blue, and I'll cry boo hoo.
And I'll have to blow snot on my sleeve.

If I were pig and you were a hog,
Would that make us compatible or insane.
We'd roll in the mud, and we'd hug, and we'd hug.
And we'd play all day in the rain.

If I were a cat, and you were a dog,
Would you love me or tear me in two.
Bite off my tail, rip the whiskers from my cheeks,
And spill all my blood in the street.

Did you listen to this sad story?
Did you take head to the message I didn't purvey?
Cuz it'll make you feel blue, and you'll cry boo hoo.
And you'll have to blow snot on your shirt.