Kitty Martin (Lyrics, parody “Henry Martin”)

by Lynn McKinney

This parody of the Scottish song “Henry Martin” tells the story of a cat who goes mousing on the high seas. It gets a little bloody when the cat finds a rat on this latest song on my CD, Whiskers in the Jar: Irish Songs for Cat Lovers.

There were three cat brothers in merry Scotland;
In merry Scotland there were three.
And they did cast lots which of them should go, Should go, should go
And turn mouser all on the salt sea.

The lot it fell first upon Kitty Martin,
The fiercest of all of the three.
That he should turn mouser all on the salt sea, Salt sea, salt sea
To maintain a fine vessel rat-free.

He had not been sailing but a long winter's night
And part of a short winter's day,
Before he espied a large fat grey rat, Fat grey rat, fat grey rat
Come creeping down at him straight way.

“Meow! Meow!” Cried Kitty Martin;
“What makes you slink so nigh?”
“I'm a poor rodent bound for that sack of grain, Sack of grain, sack of grain.
Will you please for to let me pass by?”

“Meow! Meow!” Cried Kitty Martin;
“That thing it never could be!
For I am turned mouser all on the salt sea, Salt sea, salt sea
To maintain a fine vessel rat-free.

“Come, lower your pink tail and write up your will,
And bring yourself over to me;
For I will chase you and your cousins all, Cousins all, cousins all,
Your dead bodies I'll eat with my tea.”

“Oh no! I won't lower my slender pink tail,
Nor bring myself over to thee!
And you shan't take from me my dear rodent life, Rodent life, rodent life
Nor force me to jump in the sea.”

With tooth, claw, and squealing, hard at it they went,
For fully two hours or three,
Till Kitty Martin gave to him the death bite, The death bite, the death bite,
And straight down the gullet went he.

Bad news, bad news to rat cousins came;
Bad news to rats soon came 'round.
“There's been a poor rodent and he's passed away,
Passed away, passed away!
And now the cat runs us aground.”