“Romulan Ale” (Lyrics, Star Trek parody of “Nottingham Ale)

by Marc Gunn, Feb 10, 2014
parody “Nottingham Ale”, Liliburlero – English, 17th century Playford tune and parent of the song

Performed by Marc Gunn
From CD: Sci Fi Drinking Songs

When Vulcan was filled with emotions and war
To pull them from extinction there arose but one man
Surak deplored, “Emotions are bad.
Suppress all your feelings and logic will stand.”
Some Vulcans departed for Romulus they charted
No logic to guide them, they still did not fail
Then they started brewing, a blue mixture stewing
That swept the whole quandrant. It's Romulan Ale

Romulan Ale, boys, Romulan Ale
No liquor in space is like Romulan Ale
Romulan Ale, boys, Romulan Ale
No liquor is quicker than Romulan Ale

You Vulcans and Humans, Ferengi, Bajorans
When once you have tasted, you know it's a shame
That Romulan Ale was banned in all Quadrants
One sip and you're drunk. Do you remember your name?
You'll be a star gazer. It's better than phasers.
To open your mind when diplomacy fails
Illegal it may be, but don't let that stave thee
Just serve all those Klingons some Romulan Ale.

You captains may hide from Federation eyes
Be thankful that they won't see you tomorrow morn
When you grab a pretty ensign to take away your tension
She'll pull you straight to her as you fall through her door
You'll kiss her sweet lips, then stumble through the ship
She'll tell all her friends, the captain she nailed
Intoxicating nectar, Klingon blood wine's no better
Than a big gallon jug of that Romulan Ale

You doctors who use it for medicinal fun
Better stick to your potions and hypos and pills
It may help you forget the exwives that you stunned
But your left with your bones and barely a will
Romulans they noticed these effects were a bonus
An extra added way to conquer the frail
Export this blue liquor, emotions fall quicker.
Just spike Vulcan water with Romulan Ale

 

About this Song

My mom had an old cassette for some group that had some old English folk songs. “Nottingham Ale” was one of them. I loved the beautiful flow of the lyrics with their classic Greek song. When I started performing at sci fi conventions, a parody about Romulan Ale immediately hit me. It wasn't until I decided I needed a fun Star Trek song for my upcoming¬†Sci Fi Drinking Songs album that I finally sat down to write the lyrics. It was well-worth the wait.

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