Whiskers in the Jar (parody “Whiskey in the Jar”)

by Nancy e. Pearsall, Feb 9, 2008

I came up with the idea for this song over two years ago, but every time I sat down to write it, the words never came out. Then as the deadline for recording the new Irish Songs for Cat Lovers CD, I asked my friend Nancy to come write and edit a couple songs with me. The very next day, she had a bit of inspiration and wrote this song better than I ever could. This parody of “Whiskey in the Jar” is available on the same-titled CD, Whiskers in the Jar: Irish Songs for Cat Lovers.

As I was throwin' pennies like wishes in a fountain
I heard two women talking 'bout their babies and recountin'
How one had lost a tooth already, giggling and merry
They joked about inflation for the stork and the Tooth Fairy

Mush a ring dum a doo dum a da
Whack for my daddy'o
Whack for my mommy'o, there's
Whiskers in the jar

I chuckled when I saw a pillow lifted, and a penny
Being hurled across the bedroom, and replaced it with a twenty
I sighed with relief that my cats would never bleed me —
But admitted there were times I rather wished I had a baby

Well later on that night, I drove home to my apartment
Was greeted by my kitties, and refilled their food and water
And there beside the feeding bowl was a whisker on the carpet
“Kind of like a baby tooth” I thought, and so I saved it

‘Twas early the next morning, I placed upon the mantel
Another that I spotted watching “Sleepless in Seattle”
Before too long, the few had grown into a small collection
And I'll admit it's odd, but I regard them with affection

Some parents push their daughters in the carriages out strolling
And others take their sons to soccer, baseball or out bowling
But I shop for catnip, making sure that it's organic
And brag on my cats' cleverness with pride that is gigantic

When friends of mine come over and they see my jar of whiskers
I assured them it's not voodoo, and eventually they snicker
And when my cats are gone, and I'm beside myself all lonesome
That jar will come in handy for the day I want to clone them