“Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster” lyrics by Matt Hughes, Floyd Brigdon, and Marc Gunn, music by Marc Gunn

Performed by Marc Gunn
From CD: Sci Fi Drinking Songs

The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
It's the drink I never could master
It's like having your brains smashed out by a lemon,
Wrapped 'round a gold brick
The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
Just one look I'm off the wagon faster
It's like a mugging, a beating, a kick in the head
I'm broke and I wish I were dead.

I've hitchhiked intergalactic super highways
The bypass, back roads, all along the byways
At every stop, at every bar
The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster hits me like a car
I've had porters, stouts, ales and lagers
Rum, Coke Whiskey and lots of Jager
I've had 42 different kinds of wine
But there's only one drink to unhinge my mind

It's got that Ol' Janx Spirit juice from a bottle
Pour into one measure of Santraginus seawater
I'd make another gallon if I could remember how it went
But the last time I drank it, I lost 3 months rent
The whales, the dolphins, the mices, too,
They all know about this brew.
The Vogon warn about it in their verse
But, of the two, I'm not sure which is worse.

So all you hitchhikers take my advice
Don't drink it once, don't drink it twice
If you drink it at all, drink it very carefully
Tho if you drink it all, you'll die quite cheerfully!

Chords: Key Bm

[Bm]The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
[A]It's the drink I [F#m]never could master
It's like [Bm]having your brains smashed out by a lemon,
[G]Wrapped [A]'round a gold [Bm]brick
The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
[A]Just one look I'm off the [F#m]wagon faster
It's like a mugging, a beating, a [G]kick in the head
I'm [D]broke and I [A]wish I were [Bm]dead.

I've [A]hitchhiked intergalactic super highways
The [Bm]bypass, back roads, all along the byways
At [G]every stop, at [D]every bar
The Pan-[A]Galactic Gargle Blaster hits [Bm]me like a car
I've had [A]porters, stouts, ales and lagers
[Bm]Rum, Coke Whiskey and lots of Jager
I've had [G]42 different [D]kinds of wine
But there's [A]only one drink to [Bm]unhinge my mind

Background

I was in filk circle at a sci fi convention when I heard some sing a song about the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. It was a nice attempt. But I did not like it the song. In fact, I thought the subject matter was terrible. I mean, how are you supposed to rhyme “pan-galactic gargle blaster”.

I mentioned that over a decade later in my Celtic Geeks group on Facebook. Matt Hughes and Floyd Brigdon were both up to the challenge. So we gave it a try. Lo and behold, we did it, and a fantastic song was born.

You can try find a recipe for Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster made by an award-winning New Orleans bartender in my Sci Fi Drinking Songs songbook.

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster Videos

from Sci Fi Drinking Songs

from Sci Fi Drinks on Coffee with The Celtfather

from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Movie (2005)