words by Marc Gunn; music Third Eye Blind

A parody of “How's It Gonna Be” by Third Eye Blind. This song is a howling tribute to Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and her once true vampiric love, Angel.

Incidentally, this song was written before Angel was killed, and before he got his own TV series! I thought it would be the perfect parody since How's It Gonna Be includes an autoharp in their recording, and, of course, I play autoharp! I posted chords for Angel's Lament on the Brobdingnagian Bards website. It was recorded on Brobdingnagian Fairy Tales.

I'm really unsure…if I'm a vampire
Before I take a drink…I wonder should I be biting her
When you kill my friends out in the pale moon light
I wonder, am I a creature of the night

How'm I gonna eat, when the sun rises this morning
How'm I gonna eat, when your blood's sucked dry
How'm I gonna eat, when my teeth grow long and pointy
Are rats all I'll need when I'm hungary, how'm I gonna eat.

Where you used to stab all the vampires backs
…They'd disappear into ash
A fetish that I can't ignore
…Like wood stakes in your dresser drawers.
And the hours that you spend working out and kick boxing
Make me wish that…we were necking

How'm I gonna eat, when Buffy no longer loves me
How'm I gonna eat, when the writers kill me
How'm I gonna eat, when the Goth scene's too depressing
Will I be like Mr. T, in a spinoff series, how'm I gonna eat.

pch
How'm I gonna eat when Buffy's ratings finally fall
How'm I gonna eat…

mid
Gonna get my own TV show
They'll call it “Angel” named after me you know
I gonna taste leading role success
So they won't just think of me
…as the living dead, living dead

How'm I gonna eat, when they typecast me
How'm I gonna eat
How'm I gonna eat