lyrics by Shannon Creamer, music traditional “Irish Washerwoman”

People start talking on Facebook. The next thing you know my friend Shannon is filking a filk of “Do Virgins Taste Better“. My plan is to record and release this song on Dragons vs. Pirates IF I reach my first stretch goal on Kickstarter. Will you help?

Performed by Marc Gunn
From CD: Dragons vs. Pirates??? Maybe…

A dragon alit in our crow’s nest today
We’ve asked to leave, but he won’t go away
So we fired upon him and he fired back
Kentucky Fried Parrot is now our new snack

So we tried to ignore him, but there’s a small catch
He’s invited us to enter his own private hatch
Now he’s listing our ship, so we’re forced to agree
Since it’s either his gullet or the cold briny sea

* Do pirates taste better than those who are not?
We know they’re more salty, does that keep them from rot?
Do they slide down more quickly or in teeth do get caught?
Do pirates taste better than those who are not?

Now, we’d like him to go, and many have shoo’d
And the results were they got their butts chewed
Ol’ Peg-Leg Bill was the last to get nicked
And an old wooden leg makes a handy toothpick

Now he wants the appetizers all fresh and all warm
And he wants them arranged, in a pleasant form
He insists on a main course right after the entrée
Is this wyrm taking lessons from Gordon Ramsay?
Now, we’d all like to end this as quickly as can
For there’s one huge terror left for all of the men
And if we don’t swiftly settle this squall
For dessert he'll have tasty pirate rum balls