“Don't Go Drinking With Hobbits” lyrics and music by Marc Gunn, March 11, 2007

Performed by Marc Gunn
From CD: Don't Go Drinking With Hobbits and What Color Is Your Dragon?

Don't go drinking with hobbits.
Sure, you'll have a grand time all night long.
But if you go drinking with hobbits, my friends
You may not want to wake up at all.

They were thoughtful and kind when they invited me to drink,
A lone human among hobbitkind.
They bought me a half, then another and one more
And told stories of days long gone by.
The brew was strong. My glass never empty,
As if time stood still and bare.
But when I awoke the next morning
I felt like Old Smaug had been there.

You may wonder how it all happened.
Well, I'm still wondering what happened too.
I had tea, dinner, and supper.
Quite full, I thought I was through.
But they insisted I come to the Flagon
And drink to the health of new friends.
But when I go there, I met more hobbit friends
And the toasts seemed never to end.

When the sun it rose the next morning,
And I lifted my head from my drool,
There were beer mugs spilled on the tables
And hobbits lying next to their stools.
A young hobbit lass grinned cross the barroom
And nudged each of my new hobbit friends.
Then sometime after second breakfast
We all started drinking again.

I left Hobbiton a few days later.
My head it was swollen and sore.
It felt like a dwarven anvil
After a terrible war.
I don't think I'll ever recover
From the food, the drink, and the cheer.
And I swear I'll never drink with hobbits again
At least, not till I see them next year.

Chords Key C

[C]Don't go [G]drinking with [C]hobbits.
Sure, you'll [F]have a grand time all night [C]long.
But [F]if you go drinking with [C]hobbits, my [A7]friends
You may [D7]not want to [G7]wake up at [C]all.

Background

This story began in in 2004 at DragonCon. I went drinking with hobbits on Friday. By Sunday, I had no voice left. A few years later I was inspired to record write this song. That eventually led to an entire album of hobbit drinking songs.

This is one of my most-enduring songs. You can listen to the podcast where I tell the true story of Don't Go Drinking With Hobbits right here.

Don't Go Drinking With Hobbits Videos

from Don't Go Drinking With Hobbits CD

singalong from a Hobbit gathering in 2011

from performance at Louisiana Renaissance Festival in 2014

hear the true story behind the song

Download the album for free

from Brobdingnagian Bards I-Con performance