I've been having a theological discussion recently with a friend recently. She sounds disenchanted with church and consequently no longer believes in God. What I find frustrating is not that she doesn't believe, because everyone must make their own decision about their faith. What is frustrating is the “Christians” who kill our faith.

Yes, I call myself a Christian. But I am not proud of the direction the Christian faith has gone. It's gone the direction of the Pharisees in Jesus' time. They lost the point of what God was telling them. Jesus came back and said,

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second resembles it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” -Matthew 22:37-39

That's it. Love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself. That's the entire Bible in a nutshell. All else is stories to convey that point.

Now my friend was at some sort of youth gathering at her church where these twenty year-olds preached abstinence before marriage. That's all based on some quotes by Paul: “everyone striving for the mastery must abstain from all things” (1 Corinthians 9:25); and “let us exhibit ourselves as the ministers of Christ in labours, watchings, and fastings.”

Wow! That's grand Paul. He had some good points. Yes. If you're to be a servant of God, that'd be grand if you can focus only on God. But Jesus would be the first to spark up and say, “Love first and foremost. THAT is most important.”.

I remember going to a gathering, like my friend's, back in high school. They told me what they told her. Pre-marital sex is evil. Lust is the work of the devil. Resist that temptation. But Paul conceded that not everyone is cut from the same rock and can abstain from sex and marriage. So is there something wrong with wanting it? It depends on your reasons.

I spent most of my childhood feeling sexually repressed. What does “sexually repressed” mean? It means I did not experience sex in any form. I had an internal, natural need for love but no way to physically express myself. I suffered because of it. I hurt my spirit because I was sexually repressed. I did not love allow myself to be free from sexual repression.

Now I'm not saying, I should go out and screw anything or anyone. No. I'm saying I denied myself the love God commanded me to give. What I am saying is by teaching people to sexually repress themselves, they are teaching them hate for their own bodies!

That is inexcusable. Love God, your neighbor and yourself.

Now don't get me wrong. I think it's good to teach people sexual responsibility. And that may include abstinence for some people. But to teach it as the only way to avoid “the devil”, is evil and against God's commandments.

God taught me that love is most important in life. I believe in Love. I believe that it is our ability to express love and share it that makes us children of God. And we should spend more time teaching love and less time corrupting the minds of its people by teaching hate. Because that is what we teach every time we tell someone to deny themselves something. That is not the responsibility of the Church. That is our responsibility.

Teach love. Teach what is right and good. Lead by example. And remind them that they must come to their own decision. God gave us that choice, because he loved us. Show God the same courtesy by making a choice to love.