by Marc Gunn, 1993

I was digging through a bunch of old lyrics and poetry I wrote from many moons ago, and I found this parody of “The Wanderer” by Dion. It was written in '93, and it's still relevant today. Times don't change that much, huh?

I'm the type of guy
Who's transferred all around.
I never talk to one office.
They forward me around

And when I think I've finally
Found someone to talk to,
They transfer me away
Then I'm talking to the zoo.

Yeah, I'm a phone caller
Oh yeah, a phone caller
I call around, around, around.

Well, I phone a business in town.
I try to stop the transfers around.
But they don't wanna help me out.
Yeah, they put me on hold
And transfer me to Senora Espinol

Yeah, I'm the type of guy
Who only reaches clowns.
I'm passed from phone to phone
I'm transferred all around.

And when I finally find someone
Who can answer me,
They bitch about their problems,
When they're the problem, you see.

Well, I'm the type of guy
Who's transferred all around.
I never speak to one person
Like a whore I get around.

And when I think I've finally
Found someone of use
They say they'll take a message
Which they somehow seem to lose.