I went for a run this morning with some friends. We liken ourselves to the Fellowship from Lord of the Rings with a hobbit, elf, and ranger. So many times when I go running, something about our fellowship sticks out and strikes me as funny.

Our hobbit's birthday was this morning. He decided we would do hills.

Now we are in Atlanta. It's not the most hilly place on the planet. Far from it. But since we don't do many hills usually, it was a LOT of work.

Running up one hill, I was struck by the scene from The Two Towers. Merry and Pippin were taken by Uruk-hai. The fellowship was broken.

Gimli spoke, “The Fellowship has failed.”

Aragorn replied, “Not so long as we stay true to each other.”

Then off they run to save the hobbits. Next thing you see is them running across the plains of Rohan.

Okay, that's well and good. But after running across the plains of Georgia, I've come to realize the scene might've been different if they were running over the Misty Mountains.

Gimli speaks, “The Fellowship has failed.”

Aragorn replies, “Not so long as we stay true to each other.”

They start running. The first hill hits.

Legolas responds, “C'mon!”

Gimli replies, “Dwarves were not made forthis. Very dangerous over short distances.”

They come to the next hill.

Legolas stops and bends over panting. He gasp, “we've got to… save… the hobbits”.

Gimli replies, “You go ahead. I'll catch up.”

Gimli gets back up and continues running. They arrive at the actual mountain.

Legolas exclaims, “Oh screw this! Where’s Aragorn?”

Gimli replies, “Aragorn, the Heir of Isildur, the true King of Gondor… Oh. He gave up days ago. Stopped off at Isengard to get drunk with Saruman and Wormtail. Very sad.”

Okay. Maybe they’re better runners than I am. But Oy! I am not yet good at hills!

Slainte!
Marc Gunn, The Celtfather

PS. The new Pub Songs Podcast comes out tomorrow. I share a major podcast fail. Learn an amusing fact about “Rosin the Bow“. And you'll love this Doctor Whovian-inspired interview with musician, Matt Hughes. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts and everywhere at pubsong.com.

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