| MARC'S MUSINGS -- July 19, 2006
- Feature Poem: The Virgin Diet
- Musings: Pirates, Virgins, and Car Accidents, Oh My!
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Marc's Musings
Greetings <:firstname:>,
I don't have much time. I should be packing right now. Do you hate packing as much as I do? I typically make sure I have a good list of things I need to pack. Because nine times out of ten I wait until the morning before I leave to pack.
 When last I wrote, we were about to head out on our July House Concert Tour. When BOOM, I was in a car accident. My car was smashed up. It threw our entire plans askew.
As a result, we broke the tour into two parts. The first ended last week. It was a tremendous success with lots of new fans and a fun time. And it sounds like we may be back at InConjunction again next year. I can't wait!
Tomorrow, we leave for part two of the tour. Actually, this is largely a vacation for us since most of the house concerts were thrown assunder. Andrew and I are going to visit family. But we do have a private gig in North Carolina, and a house concert in Atlanta, Georgia this weekend. I just wish the other house concert in NC came through. Guess you can't have it all.
I hope I get to see some of you on the road!
- Upcoming Shows
THE MEDIEVAL VIRGIN
If you follow my myspace or livejournal, then you've probably seen
this silly idea. I thought it would be cool to have a joke magazine,
sorta like the Star or National Enquirer, that we could let people
read at DragonCon (assuming we get an invite). So I asked a few people for articles based around our song "Do Virgins Taste Better Medley". Well, the Nagians were up to the task. Another 5-10 articles and newsbits and we'll have our magazine done.
If you like to write, then check the Brobdingnagian Bards message board where you will find some ideas. You can also read some of the articles that will appear in the magazine.
- Articles and Ideas for The Medieval Virgin
Oh! And if you like BBQ sauce, check out
- "BBQ'd Wench" T-Shirts at Cafepress
Oh! And one of the articles that was written inspired me so much
that I wrote a new song called "The Virgin Diet". It's the featured
poem of this ezine.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST
Arrrgh! Did you like the movie as much as I did? I loved it. So
much so that I put together a couple of features on well...
most of my podcasts. I'm usually not a big fan of Disney, but
Arggh! I can't wait to see the third one!
---
Drop me a line and say, "arrrrr!" Slainte!
- Marc
Marc's Lyrics & Poetry The Virgin Diet
by Marc Gunn, July 19, 2006
On a whim, I decided to put together The Medieval Virgin, a joke magazine based around the song "Do Virgins Taste Better Medley". I asked for a lot of article submissions and one Nagian, Cara Chapel, stepped up to the task with an article about a diet of virgins. A melody and then lyrics just started flowing from me. This is the result.
I've noticed a trend with knights young and old
Counts, Dukes and even King Henry I'm told
Their waists they are growing to sizes ten fold
Now I see me a chance to make lots of gold
So I wandered the world from England to France
Climbed up high mountains, endured gypsy trances
To find a bold diet at the tip of a lance
But dragons were wisest with their eating stance.
Of all the creatures under God's golden sun,
Dragons are healthier than every one
So I interviewed dragons about their sweet fun
That keeps them from weighing much more than ten tons
They sometimes eat cattle but only when spurned
They sometimes eat crops but only when burned
They drink lots of water after it's churned
But the Virgin Diet is the secret I learned
Yes. Virgins are firm and succulent sweet
They have no diseases so they're healthier to eat
Fewer calories are found in a virgin than a fleet
And virgins are filling so you won't overeat.
Plus, virgins are small and difficult to catch.
They hide in small caves and run very fast
This exercise makes them quite a fun match
So keeping off weight is like mending a scratch.
So I invented a diet Sir Atkins will crave
Just eat plenty virgins and soon you will stave
Off your foul hunger, no longer a slave
Your appetite filled with the hand that you wave.
The one problem now is the dragons are pissed
The virgins are vanishing into the mist
They are gaining weight and here is the twist
Their blood pressure's so high they die hand over fist
---
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You may also enjoy my book Bella Filiocht.
 MARC GUNN'S PUB SONGS PODCAST
"Pub Songs Podcast #12 - Irish Rovers and Pirates Playing a Patriot Game"
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Marc Gunn is a musician, photographer, poet, author, American Scotsman, songwriter, music download connoisseurs, web designer, Rennie, online entrepreneur, and a bunch of other labels that don't mean a whole lot but are all entirely independent.
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